Bicycles, Birthdays, Shoes, and Chocolate (not in that order)
by FromDustReturned
Summary: It's Anna's seventh birthday, and nothing is going to stop her from riding her new bicycle. Not doors, sugar-highs, or even a misplaced staircase. And if she tries hard enough, she might just get to see Elsa, too. Nothing is going to ruin this day for her. Ch 2 Elsa's POV. canon. Disclaimer on profile page. Enjoy!
1. Trying to Remember

_Knock-knock-knock_. "Hey Elsa!" Silence. "Guess what day it is!" More silence. "It's my BIRTHDAY!"

The last part came out as a screech of delight, and Anna couldn't help but do a little hop in place. She had been waiting for this day for ages, ever since her last birthday, and now it was finally here and she was _so_ excited. "And hey, guess what, guess what!" She had waited so long. "I GOT A BICYCLE!"

A ringing silence filled the hallway, but Anna was too busy being happy and excited and _nothing was going to ruin this day_ to have time to notice.

"And it looks just like yours did, and Papa said that I already lost my two front teeth so he doesn't have to worry any more, and I broke my wrist falling down the stairs two months ago and it's finally healed but that's _not_ what I wanted to tell you… Oh yeah! So you should come out, open your door and come out so that you can see it, and then maybe you can help me ride it because it _doesn't have training wheels_, I really want to ride it so that we can ride through the halls together like you said – I think you said – and I think I might need help carrying it back downstairs because it was _really _hard getting it up here, and I had to do it all by myself – "

Anna paused, took a deep breath, listened, and let it out with a whoosh, her fist curling around a piece of paper in her pocket. She went on in a slightly less energetic tone, because plan A hadn't worked.

"But that's okay, because I sort of guessed that you wouldn't want to come out, not yet at least, so… I drew you a picture!"

Kneeling, she slid the crayon drawing under the door, taking care to peek under it as well.

"You really need a mail slot, Elsa, because that's what sophic… phosticate… sophiscratic… what _proper_ people – ELSA I SEE YOU SHOES! OW!"

There was a dull thud as Anna hit her head on the door in her excitement, and a sharp gasp from the other side, accompanied by hurried footsteps moving in the wrong direction.

"I'm okay, I'm okay. Ow. I think I'm gonna have a bruise… Elsa, wait, come back!" Anna held her head, leaning her ear against the door hopefully. "I like your shoes! Are they new?" And then, _finally_, they had something in common they could talk about. "'Cause listen, Elsa? I got new shoes too! Here, if you peek under the door like I did – except maybe don't hit your head – then you can see them." Anna shuffled forward, pressing the tips of her new felted slippers up against the crack at the bottom of the door. _If there were a mail slot, I bet I could shove one through_.

There was more silence, and then a creak of a floorboard. Anna held her breath, trying to balance with her body pressed up against the door. Her toes were getting slightly pinched.

And then there was a sigh – it wasn't Anna, Anna was holding her breath – and a quiet voice said, "They're lovely. Why don't you go show them to Gerda?"

Anna was so happy she could have exploded. Elsa had said something. Elsa had said something to her, and it _hadn't_ made her upset. _Elsa liked her shoes!_ Elsa had also asked her a question, and there was nothing in the world that would stop her from answering, because questions were how you started a conversation, and now, for the first time in _ages_, she and Elsa were having a conversation.

"Gerda said that I wasn't to make another appearance until I'd calmed down, because I was trying to help her pick up the wrapping paper but I was bouncing too much and then I slipped on a purple bit and then she tripped over me, which she wasn't happy about, and she said that I'd had too much sugar and lord help them all, because it was only six thirty in the morning, and it's my birthday so I get to eat whatever I want! And do want to know what I had for breakfast? Chocolate pancakes! With chocolate chips and chocolate syrup and I had some chocolate milk too, and I asked them to save you some because I _know_ you like chocolate too. I don't have it with me, of course, because I was carrying my bicycle, but Mama said that she'd make sure you got it. Did you get it? Your breakfast, I mean."

And now it was Elsa's turn. The silence stretched out, and Anna began hopping from foot to slippered foot. She could do this, she could wait. _She doesn't talk much, so she's probably just thinking of what to say. Did I say too much?_ Maybe she hadn't been loud enough, maybe she'd spoken too fast. Anna opened her mouth, about to ask if maybe she should repeat herself, when the silence was filled for her.

"Anna – "

"YES!" Anna clapped her hands over her mouth, eyes widening. Oops, maybe that had been too soon. "I mean, yes, I'm here, I'm listening. Sorry for interrupting. Nanny says I'm always interrupting, and that I should practice meditation and also maybe _not_ say everything I'm thinking, but then how will people know? But it's your turn now, I'll be quiet. You can say something now, I'm being quiet." And then, just to make sure, she shoved her fist in her mouth.

There was more silence, and Anna wondered if she'd blown her chance at a conversation by interrupting. Of course, Elsa had never minded before, only laughed, but –_ no, she hasn't changed that much, if she still likes chocolate, she still likes me._ Anna had come to this conclusion when she was five, almost half a year since whatever-it-was had happened. Whatever-it-was was the official name she had give that day when she was four. 'Whatever-it-was, I'm sorry!' or 'Please, Elsa, whatever-it-was, just tell me' and then, 'I don't care, Mama! Whatever-it-was, I want to play with Elsa _now_!'

Anna had a vague memory of Elsa once explaining to her why she had been forgiven for stealing her doll and new crayon set. _"You're like chocolate, Anna."_ Elsa had said. _"I can't not love you."_ And so, when she was five, Anna had run an experiment. She still had no idea what she had done, but if Elsa had forgiven her once, she could surely do it again. And because Elsa still wasn't talking to her, she had to be a little more sneaky. She had surreptitiously hidden her dessert of chocolate candy down her shirt front that evening, and then had run all the way up to Elsa's new room. Once there, she had knocked on the door and tried to get Elsa to come out again. It had failed, of course, but then she had lain her trap. She had placed the slightly melted chocolates on a napkin on the floor, and then ran off down the hall, around the corner. Once there she had waited for what felt like an eternity, before there was the creak of a door and then a small exclamation. Elsa hadn't been expecting chocolate, and Anna felt inexplicably pleased with herself. By the time she had scrambled to her feet and dashed around the corner, her sister had been gone, but so, to her delight, were the chocolates. And if Elsa still liked chocolate, then Elsa still like Anna. It had been one of the best moments of her life.

Now if only she could have another moment just like that, maybe right now, in fact, if only Elsa would _say _something…

"Happy Birthday, Anna." The words were so quiet she almost didn't hear them. "But, I can't help you with your bicycle. In – in fact, you need to leave. Now. Please."

The silence that followed was like the calm before a storm. Anna drew in a deep breath. She could do this, she could be calm, and reasonable, and Elsa probably had a perfectly reasonable explanation and –

"No! You can't just say that, and it's _my_ birthday, and we were having a conversation, but – okay, _fine_, you don't have to help me, but I can't hate you and it's not _fair_, because I like chocolate! And… and I don't actually need your help riding a bicycle anyway, because I only wanted you to, you know, maybe catch me in case I fell, and I think I'll just have to do it by myself now. But I drew you a picture, so maybe you could give me some tips?" There was a scraping sound as she pulled the bicycle up from where it had rested on the floor. "Because wow, um… this looks a little big, and I'm not sure how to get up on it."

Anna's voice had quickly diminished throughout her tirade, because who was she kidding? She could only yell at Elsa for like a second, and even that seemed like too much. Now she just really wanted to ride her bicycle, and maybe she needed to prove to Elsa that she needed help first, and then her sister would finally come out and make sure she didn't fall too badly.

"Okay, I remember how you did it! You sort of pushed off, and then you swung your leg up over the seat. Like this!" Anna pushed, and swung, and the whole thing crashed to the ground.

"I'm okay, I'm okay! The bicycle's okay too, in case you were wondering. So that didn't work. Any other tips?" There was a hopeful pause as Anna looked toward Elsa's door, but only silence met her.

"Alright, fine, I guess I'll try it again. I can't give up on the first try now, can I. You know, it always looks so easy when someone else does it, but I guess it just takes practice. Right? Okay, here I go, Elsa! I'll just swing my foot a little higher this time." Anna gave an almighty push, and swung as hard as she could, and a second later there was a thwack as her head hit the floorboards and she was on the ground again, except this time the bicycle was on top of her instead of her on top of it. She let out a groan.

"It's not working, and I hit my head again!" She untangled herself from the bicycle and stood, hands on hips, glaring at the thing. "The first time, I landed on it, but this time, it landed on _me_! I think that Papa gave me a size too big, and now I'll have _wait_ again to be able to ride it and it's not fair, because it's my b-birthday – " Anna stopped abruptly, kicking the stupid contraption and giving an angry sniffle. Nothing. _Nothing_ was going to ruin this day, but so help her she was about to start _crying_ in frustration – and also probably a sugar crash, but she would never admit it – and if only Elsa would give her a few pointers, everything would work out just fine!

"You have to swing, then push."

There was a stunned silence, and Anna forgot that she had been about to start crying. "Oh." Well, leave it to Elsa to be the smart one. "_Oh!_ You know, that makes a lot of sense."

Feeling a little ridiculous, and much more like herself, Anna cheerfully righted the bicycle, and then, with her usual enthusiasm, swung her leg over the metal bar in the middle.

"Ow! This is giving me a wedgie, Elsa. But I think it's working! Oh, oh no, my skirt's stuck on the seat. If I just twist a little, maybe I can get it – NO! Aaaah! Okay, okay, I'm okay, just a temporary loss of balance there, nothing to worry about! Elsa? Have I mentioned you're a genius?"

Silence. Of course, this didn't deter Anna in the least.

"Okay, so now I push, right? Right Elsa? Okay, well, here goes everything!"

"Wait, no- ANNA!"

Anna was too busy giving herself the biggest push she could manage with only one foot on the ground to pay Elsa's desperate cry any mind. The bicycle jumped forward, and Anna scrambled to get both her feet on the peddles. She tipped dangerously to the side, and the bicycle swerved before miraculously righting itself. She was a natural!

"I'm doing it, Elsa, look look!" And then her glee turned to horror, and suddenly she was screaming, "THE STAIRS! AAAAAAAAAAAH ELSA ELSA ELSA, AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Anna's hands flew to her face as she squeezed her eyes shut, and _who in their right mind puts _stairs_ at the end of a hallway_, and then hands were grabbing her out of the freezing air and there was a crashing sound as her bicycle – her poor, brand new bicycle – went tumbling down, and another crash as it collided with a suit of armor stationed at the bottom, and _another_ crash, which was –

"Elsa?"

Papa's alarmed and slightly bemused voice sounded above her head, and Anna opened her eyes, finally realizing that she wasn't going to tumble to her doom and possibly a broken leg, at least not today. Her breath misted in front of her face, and since when had it become so cold? Papa wasn't looking at the daughter now safely in his arms, however, he was looking past her, down the corridor, the fear slowly sliding from his face as a saw – _Elsa?_

Anna twisted eagerly, and there she was, the door swinging behind her. Her platinum hair hung in a single braid down her back, just like Anna remembered, and she was even wearing a blue headband to match the robe that seemed, in her opinion, just a little too big. A pearly nightgown could be seen beneath it, and there were her slippers too, the ones that had started their conversation. Her hands were covered in the silk gloves that Anna had become slightly jealous of – why couldn't _she_ have silk gloves too, why did she always get the scratchy wool ones, only to be worn in winter? – but something was wrong, something was very wrong… Elsa looked terrified. And okay, that was justifiable, Anna _had_ just nearly fallen to her dea- doom, to her doom, but Elsa wasn't looking at her. Elsa was looking at Papa.

"ELSA! I'm okay! Papa caught me, see? I mean really, who puts _stairs_ right in the way of a corridor, but did you see Elsa, _did you see?_ I was doing it! I was doing really great too, I almost fell, of course, but then I – wait, Elsa, where are you – " Elsa turned without a word and fled, the door slamming shut behind her. "Oh, okay, um… bye Elsa!"

A muffled sound came from the now closed door, but it didn't sound like the good bye Anna was hoping for, no, it sound more like… sobbing. Goosebumps ran up her arms, and Anna shivered.

"Papa, what's – "

"Anna," Papa interrupted, setting her down, "You and I need to have a chat about appropriate places to ride that new bicycle of yours." He smiled down at her, but the moment was ruined when he sent a worried glance in the direction of Elsa's door. "Now run along and tell Kai to help you get the thing outside, _where it belongs,_ and if you're still cold after that put on a sweater."

Anna let out an indignant huff. Yeah, she was cold, but she wasn't _that _cold, and she wasn't a baby anymore, only babies bundled up in this weather! Besides, if Elsa was only wearing her night clothes, then Anna could do the same, except she wasn't wearing her night clothes, she had shed them earlier in favor of a new dress seamstress Lotta had made her, but that wasn't the point –

Suddenly, something very important, and also very exciting, occurred to her.

"Papa," she said urgently, tugging on his shirt. He had been looking at Elsa's door again. "Papa, does Elsa wear her nightclothes to breakfast, just like me?"

Papa looked down at her, and his frown vanished, like it always did when he looked at her. "Yes, Anna, I do believe she does. Now what did I just tell you?"

"To go get Kai and get my new bicycle outside, and I'm so happy right now I could explode!" Anna jumped in place, and Papa twitched, his arm jerking towards her as she wobbled slightly on the top step. Oops, she was a little closer than she'd thought. "'Cause you know what that means? Elsa's still just like me! And I'm really sorry about whatever-it-was, and I think I just scared her and made her cry, but I'll write an apology letter, a really official one with a wax stamp – " Papa sent her a _look_, and Anna paused, remembering her last encounter with hot wax. "Well okay, maybe not the wax, but I'll draw on it and make it look really pretty, and then she'll love me because she loves chocolate! Then I'll go practice riding my bicycle outside, and I'll get _really_ good, and then Elsa won't have to worry about me and maybe she'll come out again and we can ride our bicycles together through the halls, and oh! I'd better get started right now, because did you _hear_ what I just said? I have _so_ many things I need to do! Are you coming?"

Papa knelt down and pulled Anna into a hug, a really tight, really rare hug, and said, "Happy birthday, Sunshine. I'll see if I can find you in a little bit, but first I have to check on Elsa. That apology letter sounds like a good idea. Now go find Kai. I believe he's helping your Mama in the library."

He pulled away then, depositing a swift kiss on Anna's head. She beamed at him, and then whirled around, calling out a "Bye!" to her Papa, and a "Bye, Elsa!" to the door, before tearing off down the steps. There was her bicycle, and the suit of armor it had demolished. _Fred_, she thought giddily, _I'll call him Fred._ Fred, her knight of shining armor, who had gallantly cushioned the spectacular fall of her bicycle. Introductions could wait, however, she had far more pressing issues to attend to.

She stumbled to a halt in front of her new bicycle, almost tripping over her skirt. She needed to find Kai, and Papa had said that he was in the library, but the library was so far away…

Anna glanced behind her. There was no sign of Papa. She looked at Fred, and whispered, "Promise you won't tell?" Fred winked, and that was all the encouragement she needed.

Anna grabbed the bicycle, set it upright, and pushed it forward so that Fred was no longer in danger of being run over. _Alright Anna, you can do this, just like Elsa said, swing and push, that's all it takes!_

"Okay Fred, are you watching? Because this is gonna be _epic!_ I'm already a natural, you just swing and push, just like this!"

A second later, there was a shriek of "NO, AUNTIE OLGA, LOOK OU-oomf! No, sorry, I mean, it was nothing personal… Hey, it was the bicycle's fault!" and Anna heaved herself off the floor from where she had just crashed into the portrait of her late great aunt Olga. This whole riding-a-bicycle business might take her a little more getting used to than she had anticipated.


	2. Trying to Forget

_Knock-knock-knock_. Elsa looked up from the chocolate mess that had been her breakfast, her stomach tying itself in knots at the simple sound. Over the past three years, she had developed somewhat of a complicated relationship with the sound of a little fist knocking, but today she found herself dreading it. And the sole reason for this was…

"It's my BIRTHDAY!"

Anna's birthday.

"And hey, guess what, guess what! I GOT A BICYCLE!"

Elsa stood, moving carefully and quietly towards the door. She knew that birthdays were never something to take lightly. In fact, they may even be considered the most important day of the year. When Anna had been born, no one had been smiling. The nurse maids had whispered together, looking concerned. Papa had sat still, ramrod straight, breathing through his nose. Gerda had very sternly told her that if she didn't behave, she would be removed to her bedroom and kept there until the next morning. When Anna finally arrived, the first thing she did was to start screaming.

The birthdays that followed had been much better, in no small part due to the fact that Elsa had put in a great deal of effort to ensure this. When Anna turned one, they had made a blanket fort in the crib and taken a nap together. When Anna was two, Elsa had hidden her so that she wouldn't have to endure a bath. When Anna was three, they had found the huge block of chocolate that the cooks used for sculpting treats. And when Anna was four, Elsa had turned the spiral staircase into an ice slide.

But then the accident happened, and Elsa had realized just how dangerous the cold could be, and everything had changed. When Anna was five, she had cried herself to sleep outside of Elsa's door. When she was six, she had thrown a fit, left a trap of chocolate pudding near the window, and tried to scale the wall outside of Elsa's room. They'd both gotten in trouble. Anna for being reckless, and Elsa for not telling someone what was going on until after Anna's fifth attempt. Some small part of her had hoped that Anna would make it.

Now, though… all she could hope for was Anna's happiness, and some day, when she learned control, forgiveness. Elsa touched the door (not the handle, _never_ the handle) and held her breath, holding everything in. If so much as a speck of frost appeared, she would have to move back to the other side of the room, and she wouldn't be able to hear the little things, like Anna's quick breathing or the swish of her skirts as she moved.

"I drew you a picture!"

Elsa stepped back, looking down expectantly. Anna began explaining why Elsa needed a mail slot, and _it's sophisticated, Anna. Sophisticated is the word you're looking for,_ she thought, wishing she could help her little sister out.

"… what _proper _people – ELSA I SEE YOU SHOES!" There was a thud and Elsa jumped back at Anna's unexpected yell and an exclamation of "OW!" that made her wince. That must've hurt. The temperature dropped slightly as her heart beat quickened, and she told herself that she must have imagined the cold breeze that tousled her hair. Nevertheless, she found herself making a hasty retreat to the safety of her bed. No good would come from getting Anna's hopes up.

But it was too late, and Anna was talking excitedly about new shoes, and two slipper shaped shadows appeared at the base of the door, and Elsa _couldn't_ ignore her, not today, not when she sounded so hopeful. Taking a deep calming breath, she slowly got up and began to tiptoe across the room, wincing as her weight landed on a slightly warped floorboard, causing it to squeak and give her away. There was an excited "eep" from her door, and then the kind of quiet that could only mean one thing; Anna was holding her breath.

Elsa got down on her hands and knees, and against her better judgment looked under the door. She let out a sigh, hoping the inevitable let-down wouldn't be too bad, and said "They're lovely." Then, hoping Anna would take the hint, because this had gone too far already and she needed to leave before Elsa made an even worse error in judgment, "Why don't you go show them to Gerda?"

"Gerda said I wasn't to make another appearance until I'd calmed down – " Uh oh. Elsa sat back on her heals, the crayon drawing from earlier held tightly in her gloved hands. She new what sugar plus Anna equaled, and despite her botched plan, smiled. Something warm spread it's way through her as she looked at the crude drawing of a bicycle, listening to Anna's rambling explanation. That had to have been be record timing for the demise of Gerda's patience.

Silence fell, and with it the momentary warmth dissipated, leaving behind an emptiness that could only be filled by the cold. Quick breaths, and a soft _pat pat_ could be heard from the other side of the door, and Elsa swallowed the _Go Away!_ that had come unbidden to her lips. She needed to be gentler than that, especially today. Anna was not allowed to cry, not because of her.

A swarm of butterflies seemed to have taken up residence in Elsa's stomach, and were doing absolutely nothing to fight the creeping chill that she could feel spreading outwards. She stood, readying herself, because Anna needed to leave _now_, or Elsa would be forced to do something bad. Something reckless. _Don't feel…_ this was always the hardest part, when her already thin defenses were at their weakest.

"Anna – "

"YES!"

Elsa jumped back, startled, and then stood still, at a complete loss. Her resolve completely shattered, she just stared at the door, numbly listening to Anna's hurried apologies. How long had it been since her sister had last interrupted her? Usually she listened eagerly to anything she had to say, good or bad, but the last time she had interrupted… that had been years ago, back when they could talk about anything.

_But we can't do that. Not until I learn control_. Elsa bit her lip, eying the door warily. She needed to be gentle, but this time she needed to leave no doubt in Anna's mind that she had been dismissed. She suddenly remembered Mama telling her a story, not too long ago, about how she had dealt with unwanted suitors.

_'I used a very simple technique, Elsa, but you must promise to keep it a secret. Not even Papa knows about it.'_

_'Why not?'_

_'Because I still use it on him, and it's very effective.'_

_Elsa giggled, despite herself. It was funny to think that Mama kept secrets from Papa._

_'I promise.'_

_'Listen carefully now. This is what you do when you want someone to leave you alone, but you can't afford to insult them. First, you compliment them. Second, you tell them that you are not able to give them what they wish. Third, you tell them very politely but with no exception to leave you alone.'_

Taking another deep breath, Elsa squared her shoulders and faced the door. She could do this. She could be like Mama.

"Happy Birthday, Anna." Step one complete.

"But I can't help you with your bicycle." Step two complete.

"In – " She couldn't do it, she just couldn't, because she didn't actually _want _Anna to leave. _Pretend, just like Papa says, put on a show_. "In fact, you need to leave." _I don't want you to._ "Now." _This isn't me!_ "Please." Step three complete.

And now she could only wait, clenching her fists and not daring to breath, eyes closed because she didn't want to see the ice and the frost escaping, shoving her weakness and lack of control in her face, drowning all hope of her ever seeing Anna again.

There was silence, and Elsa wished that Anna would say _something_, just to let her know how she was doing. If she was okay, Elsa could breath again, and if she wasn't… well, all the more reason for her to leave. Elsa felt awful. Usually she was able to pretend, or make excuses to herself that made her feel better about sending her little sister away, but today there was nothing she could think of. Nothing justified abandoning Anna on her birthday, nothing but the truth and that only tended to make her feel worse.

"No! You can't just say that, and it's _my_ birthday – " Elsa flinched. Maybe one of the servants would hear, and come and investigate, and tell Anna to do something besides yell at a door.

" – but I can't hate you and it's not _fair_, because I like chocolate!" She gave the door a flat look, because that sentence hadn't made _any_ sense. She began to relax a little, slowly uncurling her fingers and taking a peek at the floor and walls. It was definitely colder, and there was some frost on the boards by her feet, but it didn't look like it was going anywhere.

" – so maybe you could give me some tips? Because wow, um… this looks a little big – " Why wouldn't she just _leave_? Elsa stepped back slowly until she was able to sit on her bed again. She looked down at the picture in her hands, and thought of her own bicycle, probably gathering dust in the stables. The thought made her a little sad, but she wasn't able to dwell on it because Anna was yelling "_pushed off, and then you swung_" and Elsa knew that was wrong, and there was a crashing sound from the hallway, then Anna's hurried assurances that she was okay, and the bike too, apparently.

Elsa gave the door a calculating look. A little hint wouldn't hurt, surely, but… there was something she was forgetting. She stood again, ignoring the frost on the floor, and made her way back to the door. She had just made it when there was another crash, and a painful sounding crack of head on wood that made her gasp.

"It's not working!" Anna wailed, clearly upset. Elsa closed her eyes, leaning her head against the wood in front of her. _You have to swing your leg over, and then push off._ She shouldn't say anything, something in the back of her mind was screaming at her, telling her _wrong wrong, this is wrong, something's wrong_, but it was Anna's birthday, and it was just a bicycle. If she could pretend to not feel anything, if she could pretend that any of this was alright, then she could pretend that helping Anna was okay too. She could pretend, for just a minute, that she was a big sister again, and not some sort of impostor that needed to be locked away.

It was silent out in the hall, and a tiny sniffle reached Elsa's ears. That just wouldn't do.

"You have to swing, then push."

Elsa's hands flew to her mouth, and there was a stunned silence on both sides of the door. She really shouldn't have said anything, now Anna would think that they were having another conversation.

"Oh. _Oh!_ You know, that makes a lot of sense."

Alarm bells were going off like crazy in Elsa's head, and she just couldn't ignore them anymore. There was something she was forgetting, something was wrong… _the stairs!_

"Ready, Elsa?"

"Wait, no – ANNA!" Elsa's hands slammed onto the door, and her left one found the handle. Her heart was in her throat, and she listened for the sound of Anna crashing to the floor, because it was only her first time and she wouldn't be able to make it to the stairs.

But there was no crash, and then Anna began to scream, and Elsa lost control. The temperature plummeted, ice shot out in all directions despite her gloves, and frost grew so thick on the door that if she had stuck her hand through it, it would have come up nearly to her elbow.

Her left hand tore at the handle, and the door crashed open. Elsa ran out, because she had to do something, and Anna had asked that she _'__maybe catch me in case I fall,'_ and maybe she could make a snow pile at the bottom of the stairs to cushion her –

"Elsa?" _What have you done!?_

All she could see was the fear on Papa's face, and the still form of Anna curled in his arms, her eyes shut and that white streak standing out so prominently. All she could hear was the accusation from that night so long ago, and Anna's elated cry of _catch me!_ before everything went wrong.

Anna began to move, and the spell was broken. Elsa didn't feel any better though, because suddenly all she could imagine was what would have happened if she had used her powers. She would have lost control, and it wouldn't have been just Anna this time, it would have been Papa too. Frost crackled across the carpet by her feet. Anna was saying something, but Elsa didn't hear it. She gave Papa one last terrified, pleading look – _it was an accident_ – before turning abruptly and running to the safety of her room. The door swung shut behind her and she began to cry, because it was too early for this, and it was Anna's birthday, and she had dared to hope, to _dream_, that things might be different. She had been foolish though, and reckless, and it had almost gotten Anna killed.

_Don't feel, don't feel, she's alright, don't feel_. Her breaths began to slow and her hitching sobs quieted as she pushed everything away, smothering it. The room was still far too cold, and her door looked like it had suddenly decided to become a polar bear, and it was snowing now too, but outside Elsa could just barely make out the sound of Anna's voice, and Papa's deep rumbling one, and she clung to these, trying to stuff them into the hollow places inside of her.

She could just barely make out a "Bye, Elsa!" before the sound of footsteps approaching the door made her hold her breath, trying desperately to get back in control. That was Papa on the other side, she needed to show him that she was in control, that she could do this, and not disappoint him.

"Elsa?" There was a soft knock, and then he said, "Your sister has gone to fetch Kai to help her with her bicycle. I'm coming in."

The door slid open, and Elsa stood from where she had sat behind her bed, clasping her hands behind her back and suddenly wishing that she were dressed. Night clothes were no way to receive a visitor.

Papa stepped in, closing the door behind him and letting his eyes wander around the room. Elsa followed his gaze, and grimaced at the destruction. Ice and frost covered the floor, shooting up the walls and in some places wandering across the ceiling. Snow drifted lazily through the air, making small piles on the ground. And then there was the door. It would need repainting once the frost finally melted.

Elsa let her eyes drop to her feet, biting her lip and not saying anything. She could apologize, but she didn't think the sudden knot in her throat would let her. She was so preoccupied in trying to get her emotions back in control that she didn't notice Papa moving toward her until he was standing next to her. His hand landed on her shoulder and she jumped, startled.

Papa immediately brought his hand back to his side, and cleared his throat. Elsa glanced at his face, and was surprised to see that he looked uncertain. He turned abruptly, nodded once to himself, and sat on her bed. He patted the patch of blanket next to him, still not looking at her, but Elsa took the hint and sat, tucking her hands under her arms.

They sat awkwardly for a few minutes, and then Elsa couldn't take it anymore, and she whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Elsa." She shut her mouth, and looked at him. "Listen, what happened just now… it wasn't your fault."

"But – but I told her how to do it, and I e-encouraged her. I forgot. And I know I can't control the cold, but I ignored it, and I didn't tell her to g-go away." She took a shaky breath, trying to relax. The ice was creeping through her and she couldn't let it out, not now.

There was a minute of silence, and then Papa spoke again.

"Ignoring your powers won't make them go away, Elsa, and it was foolish of you to do so." Elsa saw him glance around the room again. "It could be dangerous." She hung her head, and despite the hollowness in her chest, a tear made it's way down her cheek. She didn't want to be dangerous.

"But I think…" Papa said slowly, clearly thinking it through, "I think that Anna would have ridden that bike down the hall regardless of what you said or didn't say."

Just then there was a distant shriek of "_No, Auntie Olga!_" and a crash that made both Elsa and Papa wince. Mumbled apologies could be heard, and Elsa asked, suddenly confused, "Aunt Olga? But I thought… isn't she – _dead_?"

Papa had a strange look on his face, like he was trying to be angry but couldn't. "Ye-es." He said it slowly, like he suddenly wasn't so sure, and Elsa wondered briefly if it was possible that the funeral had been a hoax.

"But if she's not here, then why – Oh." The same thought seemed to occur to Papa, and he closed his eyes briefly. Elsa could imagine him praying for patience. That crashing sound hadn't been Anna tripping. That had been a bicycle crashing into a portrait. Aunt Olga's portrait, to be specific, which had been waiting on the ground to be hung up on the wall right next to the painting of the battle of the Upper Valley.

Papa reached over, patted Elsa's leg, and then stood. "I think that illustrates my point quite nicely." He said, and Elsa couldn't help the small smile that crept across her face. It seemed that Anna _was_ determined to ride her bike, regardless of whether Elsa was there or not. She felt better at this, and when she looked up Papa was looking fondly at her, a slightly pleased expression on his face.

"Will you be alright now?" he asked, and Elsa nodded quickly, standing as well. It was high time she got dressed, and she was sure that Papa had far more important things to do than deal with his wayward daughters.

Papa seemed to be thinking along the same lines because he said, smiling to take the sting from his words, "I told Anna to take that bicycle outside, but it seems she's forgotten. Between you and your sister, it's honestly a miracle your mother and I manage to get anything done." He reached out a hand, cupping her face, and for a minute Elsa closed her eyes, imagining she was back in _their_ room, before everything had gone wrong, and she didn't have to worry about the cold getting away.

Papa's hand dropped back to his side, and then he was moving back towards the door, treading carefully so he wouldn't slip. Elsa's eyes snapped open, her brow furrowed as she turned to watch the door close behind her Papa, because she had almost made a mistake again. Cold seeped through her veins, and she pushed at it, trying desperately to smother whatever it was – guilt – that was trying to worm it's way through her.

She had tried to forget again, and forgetting was dangerous. It was something she wasn't allowed to do.


End file.
